Austin Heap

The United States has some ways they’re helping…like 35 million dollars: roughly what President Bush will spend at his inauguration, or what the US spends every four hours in Iraq. Google has some ways you can help too.

It’s like crack for nerds!

I just got out of the hot tub. After wrapping lotsa gifts. Drunk. Had a fab time though!

Just shot me in the eye with a party popper while we were wrapping presents. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like me and my Mom got krunk on Christmas Eve…my Aunt and her boyfriend were here too! (Thanks Ron ;-D)

Welp, it’s Christmas… I think the only redeeming thing to come out of my church in a long time is the service that — I didn’t attend — they had tonight. It’s really just another consumption holiday; another reason for Americans to put more crap under the tree the Coca-Cola popularized. During the service they posed this question: why do Americans feel the need to gift (or re-gift) soo many items when we have storage facilities setup to hold the massive amount of goods we already have? Seriously, we have storage facilities because we already have enough stuff.

If you’re reading this, consider yourself lucky. Not because you’re reading this (teehehe!) but because you probably are part of a family with a slot in your local U-Store or a family with a basement packed full of useless crap.

Remember, on this Christmas day, 7,200 people will die of HIV on one continent.

I have an inkling that the FBI uses some Microsoft-based software to design their site(s), but they’re still cool enough to be linking to! This all came up while my two non-renob roommates and I sat around discussing the theft of Scream and The Madonna and — surprise surprise — it’s a big money business. How do you profit (aside from the obvious) off stolen paintings? Well:

1990 Buy the authentic Marc Chagall La Nappe Mauve for $312,000.

1993 Have it copied by an expert forger and sell the forgery for $514,000.

1998 Sell the authentic work of art for $340,000.

GAIN $854,000 over eight years.

On a related note…Ohio, here I come! Tomorrow! For over thirty days!

“I seriously want to slap Bill Gates everytime I come back to my computer and my startbar is missing.” — Jon Freed

“He looks like an AIDS patient or something.” — Again, Jon Freed

At what point will computers become legally recognized entities unto their own? This article discusses a mock trial that took place at the International Bar Association meeting in San Francisco earlier this year and raises some interesting points. The author argues that our increasing reliance and interconnected worlds will bring more and more legal questions to light the ride the line between man and machine. That line, the author says, and I agree, is increasingly shrinking.

I’m sure you’ve see those uber-trendy shirts claiming Jesus is your homeboy — eh? Well, some clever Jews made their own shirt using the same lettering with a more truthful slogan: “Jesus was a kike.” Hold on for this one because they’re getting sued by the makers of the homeboy shirt under our nations wonderful intellectual property laws.

Tommy York, a student out in San Francisco, recently went to a rally his public school was throwing where the Christian group, AGAPE, was passing out lil’ comics at their booth. So he a few up and posted their images on Flickr. It denounces evolution, then goes on to claim the atom doesn’t exist which, of course, means that the only other logical explanation is Jesus. Tommy says, “propaganda like this in public schools seems a bit off to me” — I agree.